An open letter that will never be read by the intended recipient

Dear Person Who Stole My Credit Card Number,

I sure hope you sold that car and made enough money to feed your children, or pay the rent. Hopefully you didn't use that money to pay for cable or a really cool kegger at your apartment. Maybe you were desperate. If so, I hope you're out of that dark place in your life and moving forward in a better direction.

No, it was no trouble at all, calling the newspapers to explain what happened, disputing the charges to the credit card company, changing all my auto-pay bills to the new number. My blood did not boil for one minute when I got that letter from the collection agency, nor when the newspaper said there was nothing they could do now that it had gone to collection. It was my pleasure to call the collection agency repeatedly when they never called back, then sent me yet another nasty letter.

Don't worry, I have nothing better to do today than write a letter to the credit card company, which is now owned by a different bank and thus requires written correspondence in order to look up old records. Hopefully I'll eventually get the documentation I need, so I can fax it to the collection agency.

And hopefully, that will be the end of it, a mere seven months after you placed those ads using a credit card that was not your own, then went on with your life. I'm sure no one will ever come after you, although how hard would it have been to call the phone number you listed in the classified ad and track you down? I don't suppose any of the newspapers bothered to do that. They have bigger fish to fry. You were counting on that, weren't you?

Well, gotta go, I'm off to write my other letter, the one to the credit card company.

Thanks a bunch,

Ruth