Tuesday, April 28, 2009

My apologies if you seek answers

It's always good fun to review the phrases people have typed into a search engine before arriving at Ruth, the Mom. For the most part, these people seem to be seeking actual information, and I am sure that they are generally disappointed.

For instance, since a recent post about Easter eggs, I've already had 14 people visit when they Googled some variation of "How many eggs are recommended, per child, per day?" After asking this question rhetorically, I was surprised to learn that so many people were actually searching for the answer. In fact I was surprised that so many people thought there would be a correct answer.

This gave me an excellent business idea: an online egg calculator where people could enter their child's age, weight and height and the size of egg being served, and the calculator would generate an answer: "Your child should eat 2.7 eggs per day."

(I always have so many amazing business ideas, and no time to pursue them. *Sigh*)

Then, we have the usual long list of entertaining Twizzler inquiries, such as:

"can kids eat twizzlers"
(If they have teeth, yes, they can eat Twizzlers. Should they? From my experience I'm going to say definitely not.)
"how many calories and fat are in 2 twizzlers"
"how many calories are in one twizzler"
(Who can eat just one or two Twizzlers? Why bother?)
"how many calories in twizzlers one pound bag"
"how many calories in a bag of twizlers"
"how many calories in a two pound bag of twizzlers?"
(Thank you, that's more like it.)
"how many grams of sugar in a pack of twizzlers"
"twizzlers long calories" (huh?)
"twizzlers nutrition one pound bag"
(Good to see that people aren't fooled by that "A Low Fat Food" label.)
"where do twizzlers come from"
(They grow on Twizzler trees. Duh.)
"what’s the big deal about twizzlers"
I'm not sure...why don't you ask all these people who keep Googling questions about them? Deep, inquisitive questions like:
"who made twizzlers?"

I also had several searches about the Magic 8 Ball. (Speaking of which, Magic 8 Ball is going to make another appearance soon, so start thinking of some questions!)
My favorite of these was:
"pessimist magic 8 ball"

I do like to write about my intense love of showers, so it's no surprise that this search brought someone here:
"addiction to showering"
Hey, if you think you might be addicted, you probably are. Get help.

And finally, my very favorite search engine query of all time:

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