A typical morning at our house goes something like this:
Me: Time to go get dressed now.
Boys: Okay. (30 seconds later--they are back, wearing T-shirts and shorts)
Three-year-old daughter (from upstairs): AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGHHHH! MOOOOOOOOOOOM! MOOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYY! HEEEELLLLLLPPPP!!!!! (She screams in such agony that an outsider would assume she must be trapped under a large piece of furniture.)
I go upstairs--not quickly--where I find her in her bedroom. Two of her drawers are empty, the contents strewn out all over the floor.
Me: What's wrong?
Daughter: I don't know which shirt to wear!
Me: Just pick one.
Daughter: I can't! You have to help me!
Me: But if I pick one, you'll say you don't like it.
Daughter: No, I won't.
Me: Okay, then, (picking a shirt up off the floor) how about this one?
Daughter: NOOOOOOOOOO, not that one!
Me: Fine. Then you choose one.
Daughter: (starts crying) but, I can't do it! Please help me!
Me: (picking up another shirt) Here's a good one. Look how pretty it is!
Daughter: NOOOOO, I don't like that shirt!
Me: Okay, you're on your own, kid.
Daughter: (cries and carries on as if I had just told her I was leaving her in the jungle to be raised by gibbons)
Eventually she will choose something to wear, only to repeat the process several more times throughout the day. Meanwhile the boys would, if left to their own devices, leave the same T-shirt and shorts on, day and night, for the entire week. On rare occasions they might actually notice what they are wearing. ("Look Mom, a dinosaur shirt!" "Hey cool! Red is my favorite color!")
In the nature/nurture continuum, I assure you this phenomenon is purely nature.
To my knowledge, no one ever sat my daughter down and said, "A really important part of being female is that you must try on several outfits, eventually rejecting every single item of clothing you own, then break down crying because you have nothing to wear."
Just like nobody ever told my boys, "Listen, if you want to be manly like your daddy, you've got to just reach in the drawer and pick whatever is on top regardless of color or season. And you absolutely must insist that of course red and maroon go together, because after all, they are both shades of red."
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1 comment:
How is it that so much of being a 'girly' girl is nature and not nurture? My mother has always been very au natural in regards to appearance, and even when I was three years old I was demanding pierced ears and play makeup kits. I wasn't copying her, it must have been some primitive girly instinct!
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