Who ya gonna call?

What's that there on the front step?

Ah, of course. Another phone book.

Sigh.

Remember when you had one phone book per year? Maybe two, if you had one for the major metropolitan area and one for your individual community.

And that was before we had the Internet.

Now that we have phone numbers, addresses, and business hours at our fingertips, you'd think we would have fewer phone books, not more. But it seems that there are about five different companies wasting perfectly good trees producing these massive, useless books on a regular basis.

I had accumulated a sizable stack of phone books that I finally tossed into the recycling bin. They are so large, consisting of so much paper, I felt bad throwing them away. Every single one is still current. But I have never cracked them open.

Apparently word got out, because as soon as I pitched them, new phone books started appearing outside my door. People, don't worry! I kept one, just in case.

I've tried to think of ways they could potentially be useful. They make handy booster seats in a pinch, but I have two actual booster seats out in garage.

That leaves emergency situations.

If the power goes out, I could use them to look up the number for the electric company. On the other hand, last time that happened I just looked at my utility bill. In any case I certainly don't need multiple phone books just to look up one phone number.

If things got really bad, I suppose I could burn them for fuel. But in that situation, I am well-prepared with a stash of magazines I am going to read "someday when I have more time."

So, I guess I'll take my chances. It's the recycling bin for you, Yellow Book.