Sunday, April 5, 2009

The parent injured reserve list

This week's lesson is: injured parents are less effective than their healthy counterparts.

Let's look at our case study, Mr. Busy (aka Mr. Grumpy) and Little Miss Scatterbrain, (aka Ms. Grumpy.) They are married with three energetic and strong-willed children ages 2, 4, and 6.

My husband, Mr. Busy, was the first to be injured, while attempting to catch some big air on his snowboard. After several weeks on crutches, he finally had his cast removed and is now hobbling slowly around, reintroducing his foot to the concept of touching the ground.

Mr. Busy becomes grumpy when people or dogs bump into his injured foot. He also finds it harder to navigate the many small plastic toys that frequently litter the floor. Mr. Busy's effectiveness as a parent is also lessened because the children are well aware they can outrun him.

Next we have me, Little Miss Scatter--oh, let's just be honest and say Ms. Grumpy. Things were going well up until a week ago, when I decided it was time to spruce up our patio. Without the injured Mr. Busy to help me, I took it upon myself to move a large cabinet from the garage, assemble a table, and pick up heavy pots filled with soil.

The next day I was feeling it in my lower back. After a few days of the usual lifting of 30- and 50-pound human beings and pushing of strollers, my back was truly messed up. I spent the entire weekend focused mostly on my lower back pain and being grumpy and unhelpful with oh-so-effective parenting phrases like: "Stop that!" "Hey, cut it out!" and "Knock it off, you guys!"

To be completely honest, my back didn't hurt the entire weekend. For part of Saturday I was more focused on the unbearable stomach pain, which had been coming and going for a week. At the urgent care, I was diagnosed with gastritis and the doctor told me to try Prilosec, which I keep forgetting to take.

The kicker is, I can't take ibuprofen for my back because it would cause the gastritis to flare up.

I tell you all of this because:

a.) I have a blog, so I can.

b.) Sometime when you are feeling rotten, and not at your parenting best, and you think you've lost control of your household and your children are probably going to grow up to become criminals, hopefully you can take heart and know that it's all going to be better soon. At least I think it is. I'm not really to that point yet, so I will have to let you know.

and,

c.) If you are tempted to move some heavy pots and tables by yourself, try to find somebody to help you. Or, at the very least, stretch first, and lift with your legs.

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