Revenge of the chlorophyll

For many, many years, I felt that there was a massive void in my life.

I couldn't really put my finger on it, but something was missing.

Finally, the other day, it hit me. I realized what was wrong.

I don't have any carnivorous plants.

Thank goodness for my father-in-law, who knows me so well that he realized what I needed, even before it became evident to me.

That's why he so kindly sent this gem to our home:


That's right. Over ten varieties of carnivorous plants. Did you know there are more than ten varieties of carnivorous plants? I challenge you to name more than one. Hey, no fair looking at the picture of the box!

That box isn't even open yet, and I'm already being haunted by visions of the Trumpet Plant gone bad. Did someone just say "Little Shop of Horrors?"

The back of the box is not reassuring. Take, for instance, this line: "Watch these fascinating plants grow into bug-eating monsters!" Fascinating, good. Monsters, bad.

It also says that the plants will "flourish for years in the specially designed terrarium with proper care." I have never given a plant proper care in my life, so I'm not worried that the plants will last that long.

My only concern is, if I forget to water them, are they going to be angry?